krink

i b still freaking rememberin'
I was having such a lovely day until about 5 minutes ago, when I decided to log into the OU business college homepage and see if the peer evaluations were up yet from last semester. And of course they were, and I got all stellar reviews (included one that said "would have been a great company president!" ah bow, thank you, thank you), except for this ONE little weasle guy that just plagued my life out the entire semester. The asshole never came to class or participated in group assignments until he realized his grade was in trouble, he wouldn't call when he was going to be absent, and then when he did participate he was super argumentative. He would constantly interupt everyone, and not listen to anyone's ideas but his own. Given my military experience, I was quick to take control of his useless conversations to steer the discussion to be productive for the group. And the group liked what I did, thank you very much. Ah some men just can't handle controlling women I suppose. But you know what? He can suck it. Just another learning experience for me, you have to take the bad with the good, and make the best of it, no matter what.

Excuse me while i stroke me ego a bit. She is a bit hurt.

Very hard worker, always looking out for best interest of the company. Always had great ideas and reminders about how to be the best we could be. Would have been a great president.

Did everything she was asked to do and more!

Kate did an excellent job with all of her responsiblities. She was always there when the company needed her. She was a solid contributor to our company and helped us be very successful.

ok i feel better now.

spring break
ah does not exist in Sweden. I don't think. It just depends on the classes you take... for example I don't have any more lectures in my food retailing class. Our final written exam is next Friday, and we have four weeks to complete our mass group project. My sagas class will continue to meet once a week until it ends in early April. So I'm pushing to get our project completed early, and then taking off the Wednesday before Easter (March 27th) and spending six days in the south of France. Not bad for a vacation, not bad at all...

researching MBA programs online isn't going to make my current load of coursework magically disappear.
wouldn't it be fun to go to grad school in Austin?
I'm going to see about an Associates in Graphic Comm from OCCC, since OU offers no minor in Vis Comm.
NOT going to be sad.
NOT.

these guys put on one HELL of a good show.

more rain, and more of the same. shopping in copenhagen today. finds included: red patterned sarong, to be worn as a long skirt, rah for being tall. zip-up sweater, two cap sleeve tops, and a baseball shirt, all at H&M. sunglasses and some hair clippies. oh and a ruffly see-through peasant-type shirt. they're quite the rage here. still looking to obtain: some new kicks, a messenger bag, and a beret.

afterwards i had a shower to wash the denmark out of my hair, and daniel came over for a visit. on the intention of cooking me pasta, but he bought me a pizza instead, so all is well. we discussed the merits of using voice intonation as a form of expression in language.. i.e. the same word pronounced two different ways means two different things in swedish. and also in thai. (he's half thai, and tri-lingual, blah.)

jag talar inte thai! jag talar engelska, lite svenska och lite LITE franska. sigh. jar forstar inte. biljett = ticket. that is what i learned today.

and apparently the pistol arrows are country. very very country. news to me! ah but only from skewed swedish musical perspectives.. what do they know? abba and the cardigans.

what is everyone doing for spring break?

eek internet research is no fun. at least i have access to all of OU's online databases, god bless that old 4x4.

disclaimer: boring business discussion.
met with my prof earlier to discuss the research topic for my group project. she seemed intrigued, good sign. we're going to analyze consumer buying behavior of families in three differnet cultural environments... the US, France, and Sweden. this means i'll get to go grocery shopping with the Rexo's (whose munchins i tutor in english), and also send Teri long lists of questions about what she buys when she goes grocery shopping :) how handy to have friends that are married with children. don't ya just love empirical research.

but at least it's interesting. i have a weird thing for studying consumer behavior. marketers know their shit, just think about the set-up of a typical albertsons. designed in order to make you shop and linger as long as possible, and the product placement is genius. ever wonder why you come out with much more food then you intended to buy? well that's because of people like me, heh heh. you're all just pawns in the marketing game.

work is good. and tonight, the International Noise Conspiracy will be better. punk rock, rah!

ahhhhhh relief! FINALLY got through to my friend. he's been in italy the past few days, and then, as i originally suspected, was unable to dial through to sweden. gets a busy signal every time he tries. so i'm not going to go to france this time around, but we rescheduled, and all is well. i'll be in Clermont for easter instead. fabulous fabulous fabulous. i could give someone six million kisses right now.

my four days will now hopefully be spent in working, lots and lots of working. off i go.

love to all.

dinner with Quinci and Cecilia and I'm feeling a bit more like myself, but still disgruntled. I played with a dalmation that only responds to Norweigan.. which was kind of fun. It licked my face a lot. Dog kisses are nice. and i got to sample some really tasty scottish (from highlands, whatever that means) single malt whisky. i guess that's why they sometimes call it scotch? because its from scotland. hmm. it was just my age, barreled in 1980, which must be why i felt such a connection. went well with the chocolate oatmeal crispy cookie things. and i'm going to have coffee with daniel tomorrow after class. coffee is good.

so now there the france fiasco to consider. should i fly to Lyon and just wing it? no schedule, nowhere to stay.. just find something to do? catch a train to paris? Lyon is a big city in the south of France. but i don't know if it would be safe for me to go by myself. or cancle ANOTHER trip just because things didn't go as i planned, and sit at home all alone. or reschedule so anya can come, and instead just take a train to denmark or something. i hate having to go places by myself.. too bad they don't have personal tour guides for hire. i could start a business, tour guide/escort service... gorgeous people who will show you around, act snuggly with you if you're lonely, and take you home and tuck you in. i'd make a fortune. ugh.

uh oh, its growing, bubbling, and i don't think i can
hold
it
back
any
longer!

strap in. here comes a rant.

I AM SO TIRED OF BEING UNHAPPY! i can not get my shit together no matter how hard i try. this just is not working. there are fares back to OKC in three weeks that are very appealingly cheap.

but then would that really make me happy? what is it with people thinking new places will make them happy? i am living proof of that sentiment being a load of crap. i think it is more a matter of being happy with yourself. the location has no influence. it doesn't matter how far you go, where you run to, if you're discontent on the inside, you'll still be discontent. going to europe, or LA, or New York.. just isn't going to change that.

there is a rash currently of people living in the future. we're all fantasizing about where we'll be in 3 months. complaining of boredom, loneliness, repressed anger. why can't people live in the present? why can't i be happy in sweden? why can't people in norman be happy in norman? what a case of skewed perceptions. at least now i know what it's like to leave. i've satisfied my curiosity. and it doesn't matter where you go, you're just going to have to same experiences. be happy, be sad, have fun, be let down. so then why is everyone so eager to leave? to run away? what is this obsession with changing? why do you have to go somewhere else to be happy? why not instead expend your energy to make yourself happy where you are?

there is such large amount of comfort to be taken in familiar surroundings. people you love and places you know. it's the cheers phenomenon... where everybody knows your name. being anonymous isn't easy. waking up and wanting to go out and do something, and having no one to do it with, isn't easy. having friends going about their own lives and forgetting to answer your emails from half way around the world isn't easy. i am angry. i am tired of being unhappy. whose fault is it? mine, mostly. sitting on my ass feeling sorry for myself.

damnit now i'm going to cry again. i just want to go home.

i feel like lucy in the old peanuts cartoons, sitting in my booth, with a jar for the nickles.....

The doctor is IN.

Cheers to Spiritualized! Turns out the Kulturbolaget is a pretty sweet venue. It had a cheap coat check (a must, and a general occurance, in scandanavian clubs), decent beer, and a very laid back vibe. Jay and I planted ourselves in a primo spot front and center early on, and were surprised to find that we could come and go as we pleased. As in, wind our way out of the crowd for beer/bathroom/cigarette and then return to our original spot unhindered... the people just step aside and let your through. Wow. And no one slam dances, so you don't get elbowed. Everyone just stands and listens. It was super great. AND (the coolest part) they had a percussionist :) As in vibraphone, timpani, egg shaker, maracas, tambourine.... an honest-to-god percussionist. This was me back in the days of the high school marching band. I miss marimbas. I haven't played one in almost four years, and after watching this guy ROCK OUT on a set of vibes me thinks I will take up my xylophone banging tendencies once again. When I get back to Norman at least. I can still beat out some good steady sextuplets and padiddles on my thigh, so it shouldn't be too difficult to begin again...

I think most people probably don't even know the difference between a vibraphone and a xylophone and a marimba... except for perhaps Julia. I suppose it's not really considered common knowledge, even for ex-band nerds. I wasn't a band nerd, because I was in DRUMLINE. oh yeah.

International Noise Conspiracy is playing a show there Tuesday, I'll catch it if I can grab a ticket before they're sold out. Same venue where Belle and Sebastian are playing next month, on the 18th, for which all the tickets are long since gone. Phoo on that. The only other shows worth noting are The White Stripes on the 13th, which I'll also attend assuming no weekend excursions present themselves. But this is likely to happen, cause Quinci has a car. Whee ha! I officially have a friend who has a car! And I'm going to brunch on Sunday with her to meet all her swedish buddies... hiphiphooray. Tentative road trips discussed today over coffee: Upsalla/Stockholm, Hamburg, Skane (southeastern Sweden), and someplace in the south of Denmark.

go to the deli tonight if you've nothing else to do, for the boys are playin' a show.
(tonight=friday night. for it is still yesterday in oklahoma.)

catching up on lj reads, emails, news... and it appears to me that something is missing. for I have just remembered that there are THREE, count 'em three, small packages of Quaker Instant Oatmeal - Maple and Brown Sugar flavor hiding in the bottom of my bag. Jenny gave them to me yesterday... what a precious commodity. They have no such oatmeal yummy goodness here. She bestowed them upon me from her stash she brought from Canada. Ha ha! So now I am off to eat oatmeal! Huzzah! Oh and perhaps I will also check the mail. And eat a chocolate, Teri gave me chocolate.

I am content.

they sell badass grapes here. today at the tuna i snagged the last bag, and with the multitudes of snow i have a feeling no more grapes will be appearing soon. sigh. i like grapes.

i would like to take the opportunity to reiterate a previous point: "the days are so much better when i get out of bed and do things!" amen, sister. i was running around so busy all day that i fell asleep exhausted at 8pm. and now its 2am, and i'm wide awake... i should sleep more. there are Spiritualized concerts tomorrow night to be resting up for! if I was in Norman right now I'd be eating dinner, and then going to the service station to see eric and brent play a set. sigh. but i am not going to dwell on all my growing reasons why i should not have come here this term...

planned my schedule, i'm gonna graduate in may 2003, and i only have to take 6 hours my last semester :) hoo-ray! this means perhaps i will take Dr. Fears class just for fun. For no credit... except maybe upper-division elective, but for fun. Fun is good. Graduating is good. But then I'll have to get a job, eek! Or join the ranks and get an MBA. neither option seems like too much fun. I will just ESP my cousin in SF to get me a job at Macy's with her. I could be a fashion buyer, doesn't seem like it'd be that hard to pick out clothes for the shoppers of the world. Plus I'd get to live in California, bonus. We Kings do well in California.

There are guys having a snowball fight outside. There are parties going on all over town, and here I am again chilling in my room. That has been the preferable option lately, I can't remember the last time I was out at a party. Or a bar. I haven't had a drink in weeks. How strange... isn't this supposed to be party central? I'm tired of parties.

Jenny and I watched the Fifth Element earlier... I got to gawk at Milla. I really like her hair in that film. I wonder if I'll ever NOT have some previous obligation (military, weddings, job interviews) and thus be 'allowed' by society to have funny-colored hair.

"but kate, you already have funny-colored hair..."

p.s. where'd curtis go?

i can't retain a single word when I try to read.

this morning I had planned to wake up and go to Malmo, but there was a blizzard (not really, that's the okie talking, just about a foot of snow) and so instead I stayed in bed. And when I fell back asleep I had the strangest dream...
{begin dream sequence}
I was with my friend Debbie, who I haven't seen since high school... and it was the end of the school year, and I was happy because it was time to go back to Oklahoma. Debbie disappeared and I found myself in Norman again, at a party or a bar, I can't remember which. maybe it was the old DeBarr house. Nate was there and I was SO HAPPY to be home! It was so wonderful! Running around and seeing everyone, and sitting cozy with Nate on a bean bag chair and laughing and making fun of everyone just like we always would. And then someone asked how my spring break was going.

whoa, what?

it's may! school's out! i'm home!

nope, turns out it's just spring break, but I changed the date on my ticket and flew home thinking it was May. I didn't finish my classes in Sweden... and I wouldn't finish them unless I went back. And if I didn't go back there was a whole semester of OU tuition down the drain. But to get back to Sweden I would have to spend another $700 on a round-trip ticket. I was just crying and so sad I had to go back, because I was so glad to be home... I just wanted to be home.
{end dream sequence}
What the hell happened here? I'm supposed to be having the time of my life! Sure, things will get better, and sure I'll start having fun, and THEN I'll have to go home. Seems like it would just be easier to go home now and not have to endure being happy and then sad again. I could just be happy. But would I be? Or be consumed with thoughts of what I missed by leaving early? This will be good for me, I'll grow as a person, I'll find out who my friends are, blah blah blah. What a pain in the ass it is to have to grow up.

When I look back and read this post in 3 months I think it will probably be really funny.

Life is just a washing machine... and I'm stuck in the spin cycle. Teri sent me a rose rock, I can hold that and then I'm happy for just a little bit. My little piece of home.

be calm, breathe.... oh my god.
I was just looking over my schedule to see about the assignment that is due tomorrow...
holy fuck I missed two days of class. for some reason when I recorded all the lecture times last month in my planner I just forget to write down that we met THREE TIMES this week instead of just once as I originally thought! so I didn't go! crap crap crap! so now I have missed 6 lectures. there are only 18 altogether. for each time you miss you have to write a paper. I have yet to write a single paper. Thank god they aren't due until the end of next month...

way to impress those swedish teachers with an american sense of responsibility.... by NEVER GOING TO CLASS!
oh help. just have take it one step at a time, first stop, prepare for the lecture tomorrow, then, meet with the professor to apologize, and start on all those dratted make up assignments. looks like i'll have plenty to do next week.

this is what you call a snow day, wow!
have a taste of the northern lights.

news from the homefront (emails from mom):

Not much going on. The other night I went out to get Socks at midnight and 4 cop cars were in front of Uncle Doug's house.They had 3 kids pulled over and on the curb. They were handcuffing one. Fatso was sitting on our curb taking it all in. He fears nothing. Maybe we should call him Officer Socks!

translation: Socks = my cat. he weighs 18 pounds, thus the "fatso" reference. Uncle Doug is the name of the guy who used to live across the street from my mom's house in Edmond, and that house will forever on be known as Uncle Doug's. He wasn't even our Uncle. Hmmm.

She'll call me tonight at 11:30, as she does every Tuesday, and blab to me about nothing of interest for 15 minutes. I'll try and ask questions.. ("how's Joe? how are the wedding plans? did you get Ellie to drive my car last week?") but she'll just keep blabbing on and on.. and then realize, much to her dismay, that this call is costs $.78 a minute because she wouldn't let them put her on the 'international' plan, and say, "ok sweetie love ya bye!" and leave me dazed, phone in hand, wondering, did i really just talk to my mom? or what that just my imagination?

i hope my car is ok. i really miss my car.

it snowed today... i slept in too late. now i'm going to go get new books from the library, eat some filafel, and go see Lord of the Rings. oh what an exciting day. i'm ready to go to France.

the world just keeps getting smaller.
the guy that i sat by today in sagas is from OSU, and get this, he knows Michael, and John Delustro, and then three people from my high school. what the fuck! boy but it's fun to remember braums. yummy for braums.

more photo-mania. old pics, just lately had the time/energy to post them. watch out, you may see a smile or two.

Parkwest715 show him the real ones
Katiekins19 what do you mean?
Parkwest715 show the ones that aren't written in the extreme emotions....those are beautiful and have brilliant meaning
Parkwest715 but ones that aren't written in extreme
Parkwest715 are frank, not overwrought
Katiekins19 but the only time i feel compelled to write is when i'm in extreme emotions
Katiekins19 i'm always overwrought :-)
Parkwest715 write what you know, not what you feel
Parkwest715 sometimes that is one and the same sometimes not
Katiekins19 good advice.
Parkwest715 i know...i should be on Oprah.

self-discovery? a violation of my comfort zone?
thoughts consume. today i coasted through industrialized quasi-villages on my creaking bicycle. wind and sun and breathless... oh so breathless. i felt alive and i had some sense of being aware of my surroundings, but i feel transplanted. floating. no physical location can be pinpointed. am i away? on top of the world? in this other land? or is it all just passing in a dream, and i'll wake in the morn, oklahoma sun shining through the window. being licked by my psychotic dog.
surrounded by strange faces. new thoughts. will i be happy? will i grow? or just persist in feeling lonely? only can seem to reminisce of times past. place myself in familiar surroundings. why can't i just let myself be here? i can't let go of what i've left behind.
and so i'll continue to bounce from high to low. just as a i always did. and continue my new mental countdown, the days left until i can go home.
in the sermon tonight at church we were reminded of our humble place in the world, which now i can see more then ever. there is so much more then this tiny universe i surround myself with. this little box i live in, my experiences, my friends, my ideas. but this is all i have. and still i can't be happy. should i continue to explore? if you're gone you just want to go back, if you're there you just want to leave.
and towards those whom i am slowly growing resentful, i wish for only one thing. to have the grace to forgive, and then to simply forget.

soon you'll be gone
i can't wait for the day
when i'm finally free
to be who i may

no longer concerned
with what to say or do
doesn't matter what i write
or who i choose to sing to.

i am tired of worrying what other people think. in the spirit of the exhibition i viewed on friday, here are my latest self portraits.

maybe it was just the cool accent,
but tonight i caught myself eyeing a girl.
a very cute scottish girl.
yikes!

i have got to think of something better to do besides post links.
but until then i'll just keep quiet.

i'm going to copenhagen again in the morning. i'll photograph more street performers. it will be mime-mania. they have blue men... they're really funny... they scare little children.

"i'm gonna hurt you little girl..."

ok NOW i'll be quiet.

nate's link-o-matic:
this is so true! it is almost not even funny! (almost.) how sweet that he thought of me in all my drinking glory. -grin-

the boys have updated the front page news.

imagination sets in...
and pretty soon i'm singin'...
(doo doo doo lookin' out my backdoor)

momento is a good flick. and the shots of all the tattoos was just an added bonus! yummy.

ok damnit i promised i wouldn't say anything unless i could be useful and interesting. i can already tell that isn't going to work out very well. no one just wants to hear about all the useless crap i did today... (do you?) i went to class, i went shopping, i made lunch, watched the olympics, took a nap, i tutored my kids and ate dinner with their family, i came home, took a shower, went to the movie... fascinating. what a waste of good typing space.

so do i have any new revelations to share? not really. i found out where the climbing gym is. they have an indoor skate park as well (jay went and skated today). only about $50 for a term's membership. the climbs aren't much, maybe 40m, but with repetition it could still be a good workout. something besides my legs need to exercise. damn does that bike make my ass sore.

i saw the stars tonight, and they were beautiful. some things can be familiar even a thousand miles from home. cassiopia is still there, and the seven sisters. they'll keep me company in this far-away land. the big dipper is still pouring down.

last night i had anya over for dinner, and afterwards we sat in my room and had a nice chat. i picked up my guitar, as i always do, just to keep my fingers busy, and she said it suited me. that it just looked right there in my lap with me playing it. i thought that was a nice compliment. and she liked my photography. i guess my self-portraits could in some ways be considered interesting... if you want to see them you can email me and i'll send them to you. i'm working up to doing some that might be considered rather strange... but real. i think real is important. the way i really look, and the way i really am.

that sounds like such artsy-fartsy crap. ugh.

and that's all she wrote.

no matter how far away you go, you can never get away from yourself.

you know when you're drunk, and you let strange people touch you?

I never drink too much. Even when I'm vomiting.. I'm not really drunk. I just let strange people touch me.

here are things i have found to do today instead of doing work:
1. shop for tights and an unbrella.
(it stopped raining the MOMENT i stepped out of the shop with new umbrella in hand, but i was soaked walking to the store)
2. get a haircut.
(which makes me feel like i'm worth a million bucks)
3. shop for groceries.
4. cook scrambled eggs and prepare toast with strawberry jam.
5. watch the simpsons.
6. clean the kitchen.
7. take out the garbage.
(which is a big job, have to sort plastic from aluminum from clear glass from colored glass from just plain ole' trash)
8. call jay and chat about the weekend... we might go see Momento on Thursday at the Kino.
9. clean the toilet.
10. email.
11. listen to music.
12. file my nails. i love that they are long enough for me to do that.
13. post.

now it's nearly 10:30, I can go read some more. ( the world unseen by shamim sarif ) and then go to bed, with the peace of mind that i have avoided doing all my make-up assignments in yet another "busy" day. ooooo and maybe have a snack! milk and cookies! hooray!

my prof from food retailing sent me an email which contained both good news and bad news. good news first: "Your literature analysis is short but very well written and reflective. Continue in the same way for the next literature analysis!" Hooray for me. and what is to be the pill in all this jam? The bad news: "According to my notes, you did not attend on L2, L8, L9, L11, which mean that you have to do some extra assignment. Please contact me for more information about the assignments when we meet for class next time." We have thus far met 12 times. And I've missed four. WOW! That crazy american girl sure does skip class a lot. Sucks to be sickly.

p.s. makes me giggle how swedish people forget to put the -s on lots of word. oops, i mean word-S. yea.

we have achieved pb&j lift-off.

and instant message-land from Desi in orlando. disney sounds like so much more fun then the land where the sun never rises. it's raining again, surprise! at least all my norman music links gave me something to play with.

relief in a conversation with my brother's breathless fiancee. my mind is swirling with news from home. my future brother-in-law eloped to new orleans, my bridesmaids dress is in, and my favorite manager was fired from cracker barrel for sleeping with a cashier. it was a homosexual relationship... coincidence? i think not. another snippity and very staunchly anti-same-sex-couple employee took a telling photograph, and thus, no more Lisa. too bad, she was the best manager they had. and now my brother is being speedily promoted. what a sad way for him to come into his long-awaited goals! She and my brother finally bought a house, in Noble. near Kendall's! hooray! then the baby came on the phone ("hi aunt kate!") and informed me she was singing, and then she sang, and then chirped "goodbye! i love you!" and dropped the phone on the floor. it thunked really loud, and julie picked it back up with a laugh... and told me some more gossip. my mom wanted to have the rehersal supper at the church (where the reception will be) and, get this, hire bob's bar-b-que to cater. dear lord. my brother said he would not stand for potato salad at his wedding. we corraled her into using the Vista instead... as was originally planned... my mom has no sense of taste. now I can enjoy the supper without worries of spilling red sauce on my betsey johnson dress. Julie anxiously asked what my date of return would be (thus unknown). I think she feels a bit deserted in her time of need. But I'm sorry, I think I would rather be here in my lonely state then helping to pick wedding cakes and flowers and photographers. and keep my mom from driving everyone crazy. ah, weddings. she advised me, "Kate, honey, when you get married.... ELOPE!"

i think i will. but will i ever get married?

i feel much better. i have read so much this weekend my eyes were swimming... it's 1:15am and i'm craving a pb&j. will she brave the kitchen in the face of hunger? will she be regarded and laughed at by snooty foreign neighbors? watch the next episode, and see.

sick? sad? perhaps just bored?
there has to be some explanation for why i randomly became ill at 4am this morning. and now have slept all day and woken up feeling like shit, with a sore back. this sucks. maybe i am just secretly depressed and my head is telling me to stay in bed and be sad.. thus why i feel dizzy when i stand up. i just ate some crackers. i wonder if they'll stay down. i hope so, the toilet is pretty yucky.

ugh.

my guitar sounds very pretty. so i suppose as i continue to lounge in my sweat pants i can pluck a pretty tune. and read my book some more...

fuck this sucks. everytime i actually decide to go out and try and have fun (last night, and last friday) i wake up feeling super shitty the next day and i stay holed up in my room. i can't even make it to the foodman to buy some sprite. maybe claire will go for me if i give her some cash. alcohol is poison. so is hash. and in such small quantities! i wasn't even drunk! what the hell.

damn it damn it damn it i am so tired of being sick.

krink (00:25 AM) it's ok go work hard and make money and ignore your friends
TheCuRE (00:25 AM) that's harsh, I want to speak with you goober
krink (00:25 AM) i was just kidding! go work goober!
TheCuRE (00:26 AM) what's up Kate? give me the 411.
krink (00:26 AM) i just got a guitar
krink (00:26 AM) *happy little jig dance*
krink (00:26 AM) !
krink (00:26 AM) and i just painted my nails red, cause i quit biting them, and it looks good!
krink (00:26 AM) *happy little jig dance*
krink (00:26 AM) how you doin'?
TheCuRE (00:27 AM) hahaha, pretty good.
TheCuRE (00:27 AM) We are playing with our game server.
krink (00:27 AM) yeah sounds like serious work.

it's a shitty starter classical, but it was only $70, so i don't care. i can PLAY! only took me a month and a day...
message from the p.o. announcing i have a package awaiting pickup from the united states. just how did they get my phone number?
kent's line is busy, argh.
and where has michael gone?

mice with rice, are really nice, when roasted in their prime.
but don't forget to sprinkle them with just a *pinch* of grime.

*happy little jig dance*

the days are so much better when i get out of bed and do things.

there are posters advertising Spy Games everywhere, and a result I am developing an unhealthy obsessive fantasy relationship with Brad Pitt.

Jen cooked me soup :) and then I came home, and there is a voicemail from Jay, asking me to go to a movie. K-Pax starts in half an hour, and even though i was just AT his dorm, and i have to turn right around and catch the bus back to town that i just caught home, it's nice to have a friend. and a chocolate bar in my pocket.

i got two singing voicemails and a surprise cake :) hooray for birthdays! i just wish i hadn't missed my dad the two times he tried to call :( o well.

i skipped out on the class excursion and went shopping instead. they have a kick ass vintage store downtown, i bought lots of pretty things. brown soft leather skirt, it makes me look like a hippie, and that is cool.

had vanessa, erin, claire, suzanna, sascha, and natascha over for dinner. we walked up to the market together and bought lots of nummy food, and then cooked up a feast. it ruled. i thought i would be all sad, but instead i am full and happy. and now i have to go write a paper, ugh. and i have a tiny fever, double ugh. but all is good! i have wine still to drink!

i only wish everyone i care about was here with me...

note to self: need to pick up the new ben folds solo album. i heard it once and liked it, and then justin just told me to get in an email... so now i know i gotta.

more sick days. actually this is my 'psuedo' birthday, because tomorrow on my REAL birthday i get to go on a tour of a food packaging plant for my retailing class. wee haw. so last night i bought sour cream and cheese chips, and a big marabou mint-krokant (chocolate) bar, and a sprite. and i slept ALLL day and then woke up and have been doing nothing but sitting in my bed in just my sweat pants ever since :) cheers to being lazy!

started a good new book in my laziness. my dad gave it to my for christmas, My Cousin Rachel by Daphne du Maurier. It's really sad, but in a good way. Makes me think about things and that I like. Here is a taste:

We were dreamers, both of us, unpractical, reserved, full of great theories never put to the test, and, like all dreamers, asleep to the waking world. Disliking our fellow men, we craved affection; but shyness kept impulse dormant until the heart was touched. When that happened the heavens opened, and we felt, the pair of us, that we had the whole wealth of the universe to give.

I wrote a letter to my brother... I'll mail it when I bike into town later today. I miss Joe. and it is Vanessa's 23rd birthday (so many february birthdays!) and I am biking down to her dorm for a birthday dinner. Vanessa is super cool... dutch girl. Likes to listen to metal. And she's in my Icelandic sagas class.. bonus! And speaking of,

What a kick ass class! Now I think I should have been an English major. Such a welcome change from all the accounting/economics crap I usually have to do. We'll meet once a week to discuss the assigned literature. Then a take-home essay exam at the end. You can look here for a course description.

Last night I met more new faces. And heard something really funny and really stupid. Had dinner at Ostgata Nation with some exchange students who have been in country since August, and they explained their "point system" to me...

5 points for sleeping with a Swedish person.
4 points for sleeping with someone from any Scandanavian country.
3 points for sleeping with someone from any other non-English speaking country.
2 points for sleeping with someone from another English speaking country.
1 point for kissing someone
0 points for sleeping with someone from your own country
-5 points for sleeping with a German.

ok so yeah that is funny! but when they told me how many points they had! my god! one girl is only 19 years old. from north carolina. and she has slept with way way too many people. it wouldn't be so bad if she wasn't so stupid about it. way to be an ambassador for all us american girls.. no wonder everyone thinks we're easy.

ugh.

After dinner they showed The Gift, that's a really good flick. And it was free. Hooray for free things.

love love love to all.

i made a photo page, huzzah. so far just shots from pistol arrows shows, and the FBI christmas party. but soon photos of europe will ensue.

45 minutes to icelandic sagas. just had a yummy hot lunch at the AF, and again sat with a stranger. a nice swedish lady from mälmo, studying political science. and my favorite weather outside... raining with the sun shining bright. happy happy happy krink!

teri called! she wins the prize! first letter AND first call. i love teri! she was full of fun stories of home and people and shows. just the kinds of things i long to hear...
my birthday is on wednesday, my korridor mates asked if i wanted to have a party. with a bunch of people who don't really like me? no thanks.
tomorrow i start a new class, Icelandic sagas. I think a survey of scandanavian literature or something like that. I have no idea where it meets, or at what time. but o well. i's will's figures things out. i always do.
the super bowl is on and i could care less.
hooray for phone calls!!

(verse 1)
once you were seen from across the room
so many caught glances
still if i try i can see your smile
even in all those missed chances
(verse 2)
i can scarely remember
it's all seen in a whirl
and i'd give anything to go back
back there to where you are
(bridge)
and i'll have some new adventure for you
doing what so many dream they could do
can you see me
surrounded by strange faces?
wonder if i'll
lose my way in new places?
(verse 3)
with you i'll always in remember
in those eyes i could never forget
that fleeting glimpse i caught
upspoken hopes to never be met
(verse 4)
maybe one day, as i wander the crowds
remembering, off lost in a daze
i'll be saved from being lonely
again find your smile in the changing maze

circa krink, 31 January 2002.

the best writing is rewriting

and so there is still work to be done...

the mucus is on a rampage. a mission to destroy my sense of smell and my peaceful sensibility.

should i risk going to see a movie? human nature is playing at 9:15 downtown.

*cough*

krink (17:15 PM): i hate being sick. argh.
Gandalf (17:15 PM): sorry, i can just imagine you in your cute stuffed up head voice...

i'm sick. this is no fun.
i haven't bitten my nails in a few weeks... good thing, pretty long fingernails soon to be painted for me. (black? red? glitter blue? who knows.)
no jazz nights. instead a dj from stockholm spun soul. if you can call it spinning... shit transitions between the songs. but still fun times happy dancing music. then i walked home in the rain at 3am by myself. it was really scary. i thought teri was calling, but we had a misunderstanding about the days. why did i leave my bike in the centre after coffee time with jay?
oooh speaking of, next month we're going to a spirtualized concert. then in april is the godspeed you black emperor show.
belle and sebastian are playing on february 18th in Malmo, but it is sold out! the bastards!
stuffy nose. my horrendous cough that plagued me for a month last semester is teasing me. i ate a whole box of snackers, and a tube of vanilj cremekex. and drank lots of boxes of apple juice. the sun is shining! i want to go out! but i don't want to get anymore sick. maybe i'll catch the bus over to jenny mao's and we can watch the fifth element.
ahh milla.
forced to use my suffering swedish in a comment dialogue on another lj. straining my brain.
i had a flying dream, surfing in california. and something about a carnival. oh to be playing in the waves...