Friday, March 30, 2001
i'm going to dallas, i'm not going to dallas, i'm going to dallas, and i'm not going to dallas.
now i'm not going to dallas for sure.
ah just as well, i would have missed the show in deep ellum either way, and hanging out with my future step-sisters and their babies probably would have been pretty boring. too bad mr. universe cancelled on me. sigh. i wanted to go to six flags!
so instead i'm caught with saturday and sunday off of work and i don't know what to do with myself! i'll probably go hang out with my mom and clean the house for her.
or i should study my accounting, because i have a horrendous test on thursday.
i can't think of a single interesting thing to say.
curtis and i are starting a porn production company, and we're going to take advantage of all the little drunk sorority girls and fraternity boys who stumble in on thursday nights to buy marlboro lights.
TTFN!
now i'm not going to dallas for sure.
ah just as well, i would have missed the show in deep ellum either way, and hanging out with my future step-sisters and their babies probably would have been pretty boring. too bad mr. universe cancelled on me. sigh. i wanted to go to six flags!
so instead i'm caught with saturday and sunday off of work and i don't know what to do with myself! i'll probably go hang out with my mom and clean the house for her.
or i should study my accounting, because i have a horrendous test on thursday.
i can't think of a single interesting thing to say.
curtis and i are starting a porn production company, and we're going to take advantage of all the little drunk sorority girls and fraternity boys who stumble in on thursday nights to buy marlboro lights.
TTFN!
Thursday, March 29, 2001
my hilarious story for the day...
i'm at IHOP, in the bathroom, washing my hands. a woman walks in and goes past into one of the stalls, and as she's shutting the stall door,
asks me,
is this the men's room?
everyone says i should have kicked her ass, but i was trying too hard not to laugh. i replied, nope, i just have REALLY short hair, and went about my business.
pixie cuts rule.
job at the zoo not looking up... the interview went badly, and i found out it only pays minimum wage. and they're making it out like there's some fierce competition for the position, and if i can get paid more to read magazines and count cigarettes.. so be it.
signed up to meet with a career counselor next week, and i'm going to do some computerized career assessment tests tomorrow. may the gods of the college major bless me with something interesting.. because the army, and a business degree........just doesn't feel right. i know something has to change, because i'm miserable.
at least i'm doing something about it!
taking charge of your life is terrifying.
sigh.
(aaron.......watch your mailbox.)
i'm at IHOP, in the bathroom, washing my hands. a woman walks in and goes past into one of the stalls, and as she's shutting the stall door,
asks me,
is this the men's room?
everyone says i should have kicked her ass, but i was trying too hard not to laugh. i replied, nope, i just have REALLY short hair, and went about my business.
pixie cuts rule.
job at the zoo not looking up... the interview went badly, and i found out it only pays minimum wage. and they're making it out like there's some fierce competition for the position, and if i can get paid more to read magazines and count cigarettes.. so be it.
signed up to meet with a career counselor next week, and i'm going to do some computerized career assessment tests tomorrow. may the gods of the college major bless me with something interesting.. because the army, and a business degree........just doesn't feel right. i know something has to change, because i'm miserable.
at least i'm doing something about it!
taking charge of your life is terrifying.
sigh.
(aaron.......watch your mailbox.)
Monday, March 26, 2001
I applied for a new job, and I think I'm finally taking a step in the right direction, because it's always something I've wanted to do but been too terrified... everything I always really want to do seems too scary. I wonder if that's just me or do other people feel that way to? Those little voices.. sounding surprising like my father... it's too hard, it's too expensive, it'll take too long, and you could NEVER do it. Well kiss my ass, because I'm going to! And it means I have to sacrifice my late-night weekends, but hopefully I'll be doing something I really enjoy. And that's what matters. I wonder if I could adjust to working 8-3 on saturdays and sundays? Oh and I'll be so wonderfully dirty, and my back will kill me, but I really think I'll love it. Please please please. My interview is on wednesday, everyone cross their fingers. Maybe if this works out I'll have the guts to change my major like I've always wanted.. but never have, because I'd be in school for at least 3 more years. But what is more important? Time, or being happy? Money? God I hope not. I always take the easy way out. I'm so tired of that. I can do so much better!
For Aaron:
Mice with rice are really nice
when roasted in their prime
but don't forget to sprinkle them
with just a pinch of grime.
For Aaron:
Mice with rice are really nice
when roasted in their prime
but don't forget to sprinkle them
with just a pinch of grime.
Friday, March 23, 2001
oh now i have such a crush, and he's going to figure it out.. because he's works there, and i'm going to be drinking there all the time..
and on the 6th day, god created man.
and he is HOT.
and on the 6th day, god created man.
and he is HOT.
Thursday, March 22, 2001
everyone has to go on amazon and order the new U2 cd. i just listened to track 3, elevation. oh god why didn't i buy tickets to the dallas concert? money, the root of missing out on all kinds of fun. so i am feeling so nice and hot and sweaty from dancing around. i need to go out to a club this weekend. who cares that I work at 10am on saturday and sunday, i need to DANCE.
so my tailbone has this humungous bruise, because i dropped the soap in the shower, and banged my ass on the soap dish when i bent down. OUCH. that made the plane ride home so terribly cozy. :) and now what is there to say? my mind is racing about 5 million miles an hour, so i need some time to gather all these crazy thoughts.
i leave you with a quote from the groovy song i bounced around to.
"high, higher than the sun
you shoot me from a gun
i need you to elevate me here.
at the corner of your lips
as the orbit of your hips
eclipse, you elevate my soul."
reminds me of a boy i know. sigh. boys.
bubye now.
so my tailbone has this humungous bruise, because i dropped the soap in the shower, and banged my ass on the soap dish when i bent down. OUCH. that made the plane ride home so terribly cozy. :) and now what is there to say? my mind is racing about 5 million miles an hour, so i need some time to gather all these crazy thoughts.
i leave you with a quote from the groovy song i bounced around to.
"high, higher than the sun
you shoot me from a gun
i need you to elevate me here.
at the corner of your lips
as the orbit of your hips
eclipse, you elevate my soul."
reminds me of a boy i know. sigh. boys.
bubye now.
ahh it's nice. i think i like that poem lots. so rare that i write anything these days, but a friend advised me to keep up with this, so i think i will.
had a lovely vacation, new people and new places. a door opened to see that there is more to life then i thought there might be. but then i went to the library last night and saw scads of friends, and it was so nice to run from table to table saying hi to everyone. just like they say, there's no place like home.
excuse me, i have to dance around my living room to this song. be right back.
had a lovely vacation, new people and new places. a door opened to see that there is more to life then i thought there might be. but then i went to the library last night and saw scads of friends, and it was so nice to run from table to table saying hi to everyone. just like they say, there's no place like home.
excuse me, i have to dance around my living room to this song. be right back.
(pretend this is from 3.19.01 at around 5 pm ish.. because that's really when i wrote this. i think. i know it was on monday. surrounded by rain and lots of ikea furniture)
starlight starbright
first start i see tonight
i wish i may
i wish i might
have this wish i wish tonight.
be longer, be stronger,
and have thicker legs.
be graceful and charming,
do stands upon kegs.
to always be warm,
no more purple hands.
win lots of money,
travel to far-away lands.
find a nice roomate
who won't drive me crazy
run four miles a day
and not be so lazy.
to understand what i lost,
when i pushed him away.
to know what it's like, just once
to get a good lay.
to know what i'm scared of
fear deep down inside.
take all my constraints
push them to one side.
but, i think, most of all
what i'd really like to have
to have some see
REALLY see
this me
who i am
not my skinny body
or my stringy short hair
bruised up knees.
i know there's more to me.
just its hiding....
won't someone please bring it outside?
starlight starbright
first start i see tonight
i wish i may
i wish i might
have this wish i wish tonight.
be longer, be stronger,
and have thicker legs.
be graceful and charming,
do stands upon kegs.
to always be warm,
no more purple hands.
win lots of money,
travel to far-away lands.
find a nice roomate
who won't drive me crazy
run four miles a day
and not be so lazy.
to understand what i lost,
when i pushed him away.
to know what it's like, just once
to get a good lay.
to know what i'm scared of
fear deep down inside.
take all my constraints
push them to one side.
but, i think, most of all
what i'd really like to have
to have some see
REALLY see
this me
who i am
not my skinny body
or my stringy short hair
bruised up knees.
i know there's more to me.
just its hiding....
won't someone please bring it outside?
Saturday, March 17, 2001
i'm irish for a day, with two pints of harp's in me, and a hand-rolled cigarette straight from the green hills. even though the car was towed, i got a lovely walk and tour of downtown orlando, and life is good.
"vacation, all i ever wanted.. vacation.. had to get away"
the gogos.
have fun at o'connells....
miss kate.
"vacation, all i ever wanted.. vacation.. had to get away"
the gogos.
have fun at o'connells....
miss kate.
Tuesday, March 13, 2001
free lunch is the neatest thing in the world, especially when you just got out of a 3 hour long midterm. a friend stopped by unexpectedly and took me to the greek house, yummy.
and i think i nailed that test.
shot air rifles this afternoon at the stadium range, and I either nail the bullseye, or miss the target entirely. but it's a stress reliever... there's talk about going to a real range instead of using our cutesy little air rifles. I know I'D prefer to shoot a 9 mil. :)
time for some accounting homework, my life is so exciting.
"Education is which remains when one has forgotten everything (s)he learned in school." albert einstein.
mucha smooches.
and i think i nailed that test.
shot air rifles this afternoon at the stadium range, and I either nail the bullseye, or miss the target entirely. but it's a stress reliever... there's talk about going to a real range instead of using our cutesy little air rifles. I know I'D prefer to shoot a 9 mil. :)
time for some accounting homework, my life is so exciting.
"Education is which remains when one has forgotten everything (s)he learned in school." albert einstein.
mucha smooches.
Monday, March 12, 2001
i love rock 'n roll
so put another dime in the jukebox baby
(joan jett)
so put another dime in the jukebox baby
(joan jett)
before I forget, Happy birthday Donny! I can't say what I got you.. that would ruin the surprise.. better be having fun in LA you lucky bastard.
but I can say what I bought my friend Jim, because it's his birthday today too. and he doesn't read my site. so when he checks his mail here in about a week, he will find an infamous package containing this year's Playboy College Girls Review. I couldn't resist.. he lives about a mile from one of the schools with a really really hot girl. She's on page ten. Happy reading mr. universe... (he harbors delusions of being a pro body-builder, but I guess I can't poke fun because at last count he weighed over 200, and I haven't seen him in eight months, so my guess is that he's pretty damn hot.) Road trip, anyone?
kisses.
but I can say what I bought my friend Jim, because it's his birthday today too. and he doesn't read my site. so when he checks his mail here in about a week, he will find an infamous package containing this year's Playboy College Girls Review. I couldn't resist.. he lives about a mile from one of the schools with a really really hot girl. She's on page ten. Happy reading mr. universe... (he harbors delusions of being a pro body-builder, but I guess I can't poke fun because at last count he weighed over 200, and I haven't seen him in eight months, so my guess is that he's pretty damn hot.) Road trip, anyone?
kisses.
nematodes are the first phyla in the kingdom animalia to posess a complete digestive tract. they have a mouth AND an anus. now doesn't that just make your day!
p.s. zoology midterm tomorrow.. and I don't think it's going to be as bad as expected.
i've been sitting here in the military library writing pages and pages of sample essays.. we know the question pool ahead of time... and then I look and see that each essay is worth like 10 points. so why am I wasting my time? ah sigh, again, the story of my life. just wasting my time!
So instead I'm going to count some time and think of what happens in four days, when I climb on a plane, and leave this all behind me. No army for a week, no school for a week, no awkward encounters for a week, ohhhh it's going to be so great.
After this weekend I've discovered that I really like Wakeland... www.wakeland.com check it out! my 3 doors-down neighbor from edmond did keyboards on a few tracks of their new CD. Neato. Bricktown was such a grand change from Norman. I didn't know anybody, and everyone was having a great time dancing around and being silly. I fit right in.
Lisa and Nate are arguing behind me about being antisocial. Isn't that kind of a silly term? Like if you don't want to go out one weekend, all your friends say "oh, you're being so antisocial!" That's what I heard all last summer. I think of it more like being pro-discovering-myself then anti-anything. And I would think some time to yourself would be much more healthy then drinking a lot and gossiping. But that's just me. And when I do hang out, I drink more and gossip right along with them. So here's to being a hypocrit!
quoting nate (to his girlfriend).. "I'm not your chaffeur... I'm not your errand boy."
young love is so beautiful.
TTFN.
p.s. zoology midterm tomorrow.. and I don't think it's going to be as bad as expected.
i've been sitting here in the military library writing pages and pages of sample essays.. we know the question pool ahead of time... and then I look and see that each essay is worth like 10 points. so why am I wasting my time? ah sigh, again, the story of my life. just wasting my time!
So instead I'm going to count some time and think of what happens in four days, when I climb on a plane, and leave this all behind me. No army for a week, no school for a week, no awkward encounters for a week, ohhhh it's going to be so great.
After this weekend I've discovered that I really like Wakeland... www.wakeland.com check it out! my 3 doors-down neighbor from edmond did keyboards on a few tracks of their new CD. Neato. Bricktown was such a grand change from Norman. I didn't know anybody, and everyone was having a great time dancing around and being silly. I fit right in.
Lisa and Nate are arguing behind me about being antisocial. Isn't that kind of a silly term? Like if you don't want to go out one weekend, all your friends say "oh, you're being so antisocial!" That's what I heard all last summer. I think of it more like being pro-discovering-myself then anti-anything. And I would think some time to yourself would be much more healthy then drinking a lot and gossiping. But that's just me. And when I do hang out, I drink more and gossip right along with them. So here's to being a hypocrit!
quoting nate (to his girlfriend).. "I'm not your chaffeur... I'm not your errand boy."
young love is so beautiful.
TTFN.
Friday, March 09, 2001
blue hibiscus bikinis are my salvation.
it's so silly and female how shopping with a girlfriend can cheer you up, but only when you find vans for $15, and jeweled flip flops for even less, and a bathing suit that gives you hope the work outs are paying off...
curtis and i are going to post up ads outside the store for free hooch. we both need some badly! and then i asked him, curtis, why don't you and i just get together?
because, well, it would just spoil our intricate working relationship!
and besides, i'm like 7 inches taller. and he's 7 inches of man i'm just not prepared to handle.
the highlight of my day,
hearing a freshman complain about how his mom yelled at him for overdrawing his checking account, and then him having to call her back and tell her to give him more money, because jesus christ, he needs cigarettes, and shouldn't the stupid bitch know by now that if he overdraws, it means to give him more?!?!?!
ohh but to have a baseball bat just right there handily when you're in need.
"Silence is the answer to a wise man." -euripides
it's so silly and female how shopping with a girlfriend can cheer you up, but only when you find vans for $15, and jeweled flip flops for even less, and a bathing suit that gives you hope the work outs are paying off...
curtis and i are going to post up ads outside the store for free hooch. we both need some badly! and then i asked him, curtis, why don't you and i just get together?
because, well, it would just spoil our intricate working relationship!
and besides, i'm like 7 inches taller. and he's 7 inches of man i'm just not prepared to handle.
the highlight of my day,
hearing a freshman complain about how his mom yelled at him for overdrawing his checking account, and then him having to call her back and tell her to give him more money, because jesus christ, he needs cigarettes, and shouldn't the stupid bitch know by now that if he overdraws, it means to give him more?!?!?!
ohh but to have a baseball bat just right there handily when you're in need.
"Silence is the answer to a wise man." -euripides
Wednesday, March 07, 2001
So to bring the world at large up to date,
6 days ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 months. I have 1 month and 3 weeks to gain 7 pounds and increase my athletic abilities before they'll let me sign away 4 years of my life into service for uncle sam. I've been 21 for 1 month, and drinking is very, very expensive. 2 years until I graduate. I'm hanging in there...
flashback 6 days, 8:30 pm, me, on my blue plaid couch, with my boyfriend. and I pop the eternal general question(s)... "are you happy with the way our relationship is going?" skip ahead about 30 minutes, when we've mutually decided that we'd be better off apart. maybe not happier, or more content, but better, and I guess that is what really matters. why is it that two people who want nothing more in the world then to be happy together can do nothing but force themselves apart?
"love's a hard game to play..." .stevie nicks.
so now's it's a struggle between being sad and getting on with my life. and I just have to get on, because nothing stops for me in this world, especially not school or the army. the two focal points in my life. countdown 8 days to my vacation from this. I can't wait to just forget about everything that ever happened to me.
I wrote this in my journal on november 14, 2000:
"my train screams by my window, I'm in arms when I look through my mind's eye, there I see you lying curved and bare.. our legs tangled and sweat in my palms, contemplating what I want to feel but too scared to move towards getting it started."
that is the story of my LIFE.
TTFN.
(ta ta for now)
6 days ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 months. I have 1 month and 3 weeks to gain 7 pounds and increase my athletic abilities before they'll let me sign away 4 years of my life into service for uncle sam. I've been 21 for 1 month, and drinking is very, very expensive. 2 years until I graduate. I'm hanging in there...
flashback 6 days, 8:30 pm, me, on my blue plaid couch, with my boyfriend. and I pop the eternal general question(s)... "are you happy with the way our relationship is going?" skip ahead about 30 minutes, when we've mutually decided that we'd be better off apart. maybe not happier, or more content, but better, and I guess that is what really matters. why is it that two people who want nothing more in the world then to be happy together can do nothing but force themselves apart?
"love's a hard game to play..." .stevie nicks.
so now's it's a struggle between being sad and getting on with my life. and I just have to get on, because nothing stops for me in this world, especially not school or the army. the two focal points in my life. countdown 8 days to my vacation from this. I can't wait to just forget about everything that ever happened to me.
I wrote this in my journal on november 14, 2000:
"my train screams by my window, I'm in arms when I look through my mind's eye, there I see you lying curved and bare.. our legs tangled and sweat in my palms, contemplating what I want to feel but too scared to move towards getting it started."
that is the story of my LIFE.
TTFN.
(ta ta for now)
So we'll see how long it takes me to deceifer all this blogger lingo... i guess i should this computer for something besides solitaire and email. Here's to a new beginning.
