krink

oh go to work, you most idle of the idle students. read and expand your mind. learn and earn a's and graduate and have happy life!
(i need to work and quit playing online. the microcomputer lab in the library has nice new dells. they type very quietly.)

watched the game last night in the union, and drank one of those funny tequila lemony drinks that christie left in my fridge with the swede, and then went to the show at the digital lounge. it will be a nice place to study once they get computer + smoothies installed. p.s. what happened to juice stop?!?!? another campus corner location bites the dust. but i see the sushi place is open... any comments from those who have tried it?

i got my bike, and there is a scratch on the frame, so eric the nice boy at buchanan knocked $35 off. that RULES. and now my ass is sore from riding all across town last night at 2am. we *almost* went to albertson's. swedes are good biking companions. (and imagine his continued amazement that the stores are open 24 hours) and that fountain by sarkey's is really pretty.

study damnit study!

ta ta.

p.s. the self-important little lab tech - "you need to be OUTSIDE the lab if your cell phone is turned on" - makes me laugh. i have never heard such drab tones used in answering the help desk phone. this is why i do not work for 'information technology'. (contradiction in terms..!) all day you tell people things they could find out if they'd look at the web page.

8 1/2 hours to kick-off. I think I can make it. Watching at DR's - or with my brother - either way screaming at ESPN with beer in hand will definately be some good times. Looking forward to weekend in which I will continue not to do any of my reading (ah, to be back in school) and maybe get some time by the pool down at Yorkshire - or wherever else I can find. I need my suit back, I'll have to remember to call over to the Keys boys with that request.

All the people in the labs today are looking very nervous, and so I will make my departure. Nervous people make me nervous, sad people make me sad. Funny how that works. Going to go harass Buchanan - I want my bike! Stubbed toe from Albertson's grocery carts does not make for fun campus walking.

p.s. My place feels officially warm and cozy now - thanks to the kids for coming to dinnner last night.

insert giant sigh of relief *here* some of the books they gave me were the wrong ones - so I got $140 back. I think that makes the grand total in the low 400 range. Not much better but god bless! I couldn't believe it would be $520! Glad the mistake turned up... still waiting on the proverbial call from Buchanan to go and get my new bike. Yea new bikes! Sitting with Debbie here in the comp labs, and she invited me to go for pizza and then drinks at her at place Saturday night. Exchange student parties rule.

Off I go! lots of love.

soo did you know 12 hours of 3000/4000 level marketing classes will ONLY run you about $520 for books? I'm not kidding. I though it was only $460, but the idiots forgot one. Goodness gracious! I guess once you get to this level everyone keeps them, so there is a lack of used available for purchase.

I now officially have a completely furnished living room. TV and everything. Still waiting on the table and chairs, well actually a bike, so I can bike to the furniture stores... A/C is out in the car, nice! Buchanan had to order me and extra large gawky bike frame. Lesson yesterday went well, we're working on Landslide, and it sounds a lot trickier then it actually is. Ah and class is calling... Retailing Management. Off I go!

p.s. neat Dutch girl in both my MWF classes. I have good karma with the Dutch.

circumstances present me with an amazing lack of television, video, and internet access. it's kind of fun. this way i get to run into random people when coming to use the lab in the union, plus go crazy trying to find someone who will lend me a pen.

last night at vz's was good times... dancing and general merriment as always. i met two neat guys who are in town from austin building the new exhibit at the okc museum of art. i'll have to go and check out their handiwork sometime soon.. sounds like it would be a neat job. and i could use a little culture.

last night i hosted my first dinner guest and suceeded despite the great lack of furniture. it was fun to sit on the hardwood and eat off of overturned stelite storage containers... today maybe will be a sojourn to bill's furniture to see what i can dig up by way of a table and chairs. and campus joe too - i need to buy a capo for a new song i'm working on. and textbooks. two days to schooling! off i go...

bluefish is tonight. guess who's playing?

today a pristine swedish boy (6'2" blonde and blue) gave me a hug and said i was an angel.

insert contented sigh *here*

it's going to be nice year.

it has pretty new white walls, and a very scuffed hardword slippy floor. character resides within, traffic of feet and time. a large open archway leads into a mustardly yellow tied kitchen, with a gigantic floor furnace vent right exactly where you are inclined to place your feet. burned toes will be mine this winter. there is a large cental island with a four burner stove and lots of counter space, allowing for barstools and a teapot between friends. a pine table will sit directly behind, if i can ever find one with chairs that fit my funny kinks. yesterday i bought a comfy green soft and squishy chair at the flea market. i need coat rack, and bookcases, and a shaggy white rug. the bedroom has two nice windows, a small black striped cozy bathroom. creaky doors. panoramic views of classen boulevard. walking or biking distance from everything... two steps from a nice outdoor patioed bar. $330 a month plus bills, no smoking, easy on the wallet, good for the lungs.

i hope my application gets approved :) it will be mine mine in two weeks. love! love! love!

i was just reading one of ciole's posts, and i realized the work take is my name with the k and the t reversed. i saw the take out of the corner of my eye and thought it was my name. (dsylexic moment)

interesting...

stability seems to be lurking around the corner. it's funny the things i associate with stability - just misconceptions for the most part. well at least i'm going to have an apartment at the end of the month, likely directly in the vacinity of campus corner. either that or the ones right by the mont. looks well either way... job is done as of next friday. and then i keep telling myself that things will "return to normal," which is a complete load of crap. there is no normal anymore, normal disappeared a long long time ago. i'll return to campus, appalled at the young puppiness of the new students, unpleasantly shuffling at the new lack of people i used to know. growing old isn't much fun... but some would say "hey! at least you're still IN college!"

they're right. i am. i should have some fun. it's just so hard for me to get back into it! i'm really getting kicked in the ass by feeling left out. it's just something i have to accept, i realize that now. it's such a slow process to rebuild and reevaluate all the relationships i had before i left. and disheartening to realize most of them are long gone (for the better, but still sad). i'm cranky and bitchy and too tired from working to call anyone anymore, so what right do i have to be bored. it's my own freakin' fault! but i still say fuck you to all the people who said we'd hang out who never even fucking called to see if i had a nice trip. FUCK YOU!

ok i feel better. this fuck you attitude will get me exactly nowhere, so i'm glad i at least have a medium for getting it out of my system. i can leave it behind me and move on. move on to last year, graduation. classes. money from my parents so i don't have to work, i can just get my study on and get the hell out of college. scary thought. out of college. not sure i'm ready for that just yet, so i guess it's good i have another year.

disjointed thoughts are consuming today - with so much going on lately i don't have time to properly think things through. my living situation is wearing me out completely. oh so tired...

now let's see if i can remember correctly:

it's not that i don't receive happiness or validation from my social encounters, i do, just not for the things that are concerning me. they reinforce things that are stable, my perceptions of myself as a likable person. "cute" and "funny" - they do not reinforce the things that cause me concern or sadness. they do not confirm my direction in life, my confidence in my abilities to function as an adult. to find and maintain stable relationships beyond drinking buddies. being successful after graduation. living life the way i want to live it, not the way it is expected that i am supposed to live.

but i'll take what i have, and do what i can, with where i am. there's a little teddy roosevelt to round out the day.
like good friends who are only a phone call away. and to them i say thank you...

There should be an endless supply of danceable 6'2"+ boys at my disposal. Every time I go out. With as much as I shake it, much to the enjoyment of the onlookers i'm told, I should always have a partner.

Or, Janke could just come out to more shows :) Now everyone thinks he is my boyfriend, and this makes me giggle. Wouldn't it be neat if every guy I got to dance with me would be my boyfriend? Well, maybe not, boys really never ever dance with me. But anyways. Danceable friends are good friends.

I've been catching up on my journal reads, it's a wee bit overwhelming. I've neglected my lj friends page, and my blogs, shamelessly lately. Such are the after effects of being a cog in the great cola machine, you never have time to have any fun. Just talk on my little headset allll day long. This weekend should find some time devoted to composing the notice letter. I'm outa there in two weeks, *poof*
Then I'll be back to play, so call me please. This time I really mean it. I do still love all my peeps..

(raise da roof) time to go grocery shopping! domesticated kate!