Thursday, June 28, 2001
now my life is so close to perfection. one day left of class.. my final presentation, and then a blissful seven week break from school. AND they fixed the hot tub. life doesn't get much better then that. i even have a hamster to play with. here's a silly little song I wrote, they're always so depressing!
fire breathing blues
by kate, 6.27.01
we were everyone's favorite couple
never a harsh word spoken
experts at false adoration
our hearts eternally broken.
For those others we stayed together
didn't want to disappoint the crowd
When our secret split discovered
the public outrage sounded loud.
We were the champions of feigning love
only imaging some bond existed.
seeing something with blinded eyes,
once gone, we never even missed it.
So now tell me baby
whose gonna light your fire now
to be loved by you...
need a different girl to show you how.
baby i've been so lost
don't know which way to turn
you breathe your flaming fire
can't help but feel the burn.
(so there you go, now if i could only write music! )
fire breathing blues
by kate, 6.27.01
we were everyone's favorite couple
never a harsh word spoken
experts at false adoration
our hearts eternally broken.
For those others we stayed together
didn't want to disappoint the crowd
When our secret split discovered
the public outrage sounded loud.
We were the champions of feigning love
only imaging some bond existed.
seeing something with blinded eyes,
once gone, we never even missed it.
So now tell me baby
whose gonna light your fire now
to be loved by you...
need a different girl to show you how.
baby i've been so lost
don't know which way to turn
you breathe your flaming fire
can't help but feel the burn.
(so there you go, now if i could only write music! )
Thursday, June 21, 2001
she's back again.
long day... class... work... coffee... unpacking. liz's multitude of coffee mugs, we just need a coffee maker and we'll be on caffine highs for the rest of the summer!
feeling a bit of the blahs now, from lack of human contact i think. and my friend didn't call me back that i was counting on. ah well such is life!
my dad is back from california for the summer, and he says my face looks fuller. then i saw my friend sandy today and she thinks i look bigger too. liz thinks it's because i stopped working out, i'm losing all my muscle and gaining fat. fat is good! i want to be fat! i still weigh the same.. but i'm eating lots of eggs and pasta to be chubby. everyone mentally send me some calories.
that's all i have to say about that.
email me! i'm lonely.
long day... class... work... coffee... unpacking. liz's multitude of coffee mugs, we just need a coffee maker and we'll be on caffine highs for the rest of the summer!
feeling a bit of the blahs now, from lack of human contact i think. and my friend didn't call me back that i was counting on. ah well such is life!
my dad is back from california for the summer, and he says my face looks fuller. then i saw my friend sandy today and she thinks i look bigger too. liz thinks it's because i stopped working out, i'm losing all my muscle and gaining fat. fat is good! i want to be fat! i still weigh the same.. but i'm eating lots of eggs and pasta to be chubby. everyone mentally send me some calories.
that's all i have to say about that.
email me! i'm lonely.
Friday, June 15, 2001
"Go, girl, seek happy nights to happy days."
Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet
my new motto. change is in the wind, again. all moved into my new place, with tasty new carpet and yummy new tile and all sorts of fun things to discover. lots better since they repaired the stove, and fixed the leaky pipes... but it was kinda fun to be dripped on while you're going to the bathroom (now where exactly was that water coming from?)
.sigh.
i should be out having fun, but instead i'm persisting on hanging onto something that is never going to happen. something out of the past that has made a strange reappearance again, and brought back feelings long since buried. i was watching romeo and juliet and some of the lines really hit home.... my only love sprung from my only hate. why is it, just when you think it's gone, when you're resigned to those feelings of disolution, it's suddenly back again. jumping up in your face begging for attention. i was content with hating, and now i'm loving, and i really just don't know what i'm going to do. definately not let anyone read these thoughts. in my class the other day we discussed how people persist on putting themselves in demeaning and negative situations, which is exactly what i might be doing, when they KNOW that it is stupid and wrong, because it's just going to happen again. just like last time. heart broken. but your soul makes you do it. you do it until you learn the lesson, so obviously i haven't learned my lesson just yet. someone stick around, to mend this broken heart of mine, i give it another 2 weeks. until i get up the balls to say something.
Why bother? it's gonna hurt me
It's gonna kill when you desert me
This happened to me twice before
It won't happen to me anymore
weezer, "why bother"
Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet
my new motto. change is in the wind, again. all moved into my new place, with tasty new carpet and yummy new tile and all sorts of fun things to discover. lots better since they repaired the stove, and fixed the leaky pipes... but it was kinda fun to be dripped on while you're going to the bathroom (now where exactly was that water coming from?)
.sigh.
i should be out having fun, but instead i'm persisting on hanging onto something that is never going to happen. something out of the past that has made a strange reappearance again, and brought back feelings long since buried. i was watching romeo and juliet and some of the lines really hit home.... my only love sprung from my only hate. why is it, just when you think it's gone, when you're resigned to those feelings of disolution, it's suddenly back again. jumping up in your face begging for attention. i was content with hating, and now i'm loving, and i really just don't know what i'm going to do. definately not let anyone read these thoughts. in my class the other day we discussed how people persist on putting themselves in demeaning and negative situations, which is exactly what i might be doing, when they KNOW that it is stupid and wrong, because it's just going to happen again. just like last time. heart broken. but your soul makes you do it. you do it until you learn the lesson, so obviously i haven't learned my lesson just yet. someone stick around, to mend this broken heart of mine, i give it another 2 weeks. until i get up the balls to say something.
Why bother? it's gonna hurt me
It's gonna kill when you desert me
This happened to me twice before
It won't happen to me anymore
weezer, "why bother"
Tuesday, June 05, 2001
the greatest acts of kindness are the random ones
a friend and i are shopping at wal-mart last night, and i stop to smell some bouquets of carnations and daisies. we go about our business, we shop, and we end up at the check-out counter, and he says he's forgotten something... asks me to watch the basket... because he'll be right back. and what did he forget?
he got me some of the flowers. he hands them to me and says, "there, now we have everything."
so that will tide over the dancing little girl inside me for about a month. but I can't promise I won't randomly break into a huge smile whenever the event crosses my mind.
warm fuzzies.
on another note... everyone (the 2 people that read my page) remembers the marriage rant I had a while back? my bestest friend and first high-school boyfriend Clay was recently married and I was a bit perplexed. and if I was then, I sure as hell will be now! because now my first boyfriend EVER, the guy I "went out with" for 10 months in the 6th grade (my longest relationship to date...) is also engaged! and then so is my long time friend Amy! Amy that I ran around with in diapers! 2nd grade with Ms. Kennedy! How wacked is that! And my brother is engaged too! Joe! He is only 23! We should still be playing in the sand box!
I am so old!!!!!!! I've never even been in love! And everyone is getting married! god save me.
(I have now officially reached my quota of exclamation points for the month.)
a friend and i are shopping at wal-mart last night, and i stop to smell some bouquets of carnations and daisies. we go about our business, we shop, and we end up at the check-out counter, and he says he's forgotten something... asks me to watch the basket... because he'll be right back. and what did he forget?
he got me some of the flowers. he hands them to me and says, "there, now we have everything."
so that will tide over the dancing little girl inside me for about a month. but I can't promise I won't randomly break into a huge smile whenever the event crosses my mind.
warm fuzzies.
on another note... everyone (the 2 people that read my page) remembers the marriage rant I had a while back? my bestest friend and first high-school boyfriend Clay was recently married and I was a bit perplexed. and if I was then, I sure as hell will be now! because now my first boyfriend EVER, the guy I "went out with" for 10 months in the 6th grade (my longest relationship to date...) is also engaged! and then so is my long time friend Amy! Amy that I ran around with in diapers! 2nd grade with Ms. Kennedy! How wacked is that! And my brother is engaged too! Joe! He is only 23! We should still be playing in the sand box!
I am so old!!!!!!! I've never even been in love! And everyone is getting married! god save me.
(I have now officially reached my quota of exclamation points for the month.)
